


Barren Fields

by Lazarth



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Romance, Family Bonding, Family Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I ndeed a reason to make the Commonwealth Cleaner, Introspection, Moving On, Post-Blind Betrayal, Pre-Relationship, Pre-War, Religious Conflict, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-14
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-14 13:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13008624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lazarth/pseuds/Lazarth
Summary: Nate follows rumors of another treasure down a rabbit hole, led by a man who is losing himself in an imagined future.A man sees the beginning of the end long before it comes. He starts to prepare for the world after and one he would help reshape.





	1. Message in a Holotape

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted a greener Fallout 4 so I modded it but I wanted a reason for it to be greener and thus I wrote this. Also, this is my very first time writing a fanfic so please be patient with me.  
> Also, this fic will contain battling with one's faith and religion. 
> 
> Title is subject to change because I have yet to decide on one!

                With a pop and hiss the stimpack released its contents somewhere below Nate’s skin and tissue. Getting through the second group of raiders has left both him and Danse winded – more so him but who was counting, really. Nate heaved a sigh and slumped against the one of the peeling walls, wondering once again if it had been a good idea to leave his Power Armor behind of follow a possibly fruitless treasure hunt – a second time no less.

                “You think this so called ‘treasure’ is going to be equally as useless as the one at Jamaica Plains? Cause I’m starting to feel like a cross between a shooting course dummy and a PSA for the fruitlessness of being a treasure hunter.” The Vault Dweller mumbled into his arm as he wiped his forehead of sweat, grime and more than a little raider blood. After the Jamaica Plains and its ‘treasure’ turned out to be a plethora of aging pre-war – and pre-nuclear wasteland – artifacts and a jaunty tune, Nate was more than a little skeptical of anything called a ‘treasure’ or any time capsules at all for that matter. Nate was determined to nab the object, room, artifact, what-have-you from under the collective xenophobic noses of the Brotherhood of Steel. He didn’t mind the bucket-heads per say – he hadn’t destroyed their crippled blimp when given the chance was evidence enough – but he found their attitudes a bit hard to swallow. The fact that he had to threaten the local farmers like some kind of two-bit raider still soured his mouth. He wasn’t beyond securing a room full of pre-war paraphernalia just to thumb his nose at them. Icing on the dislike cake had been being ordered to kill his favorite bucket head – synth or not Danse was a damn good soldier and he didn’t deserve to be killed for someone’s ideologies.

                Danse popped out of his high-tech metal tin can with a soft huff, “Pre-war artifacts are a much better treasure than any weapon, and they can teach the Brother…” A slight wince crawled over the features as he thought back to his former loyalties. “They can teach us so much.”

                “I would’ve thought Maxson’s scary ass trying to kill you off would’ve been enough to trump the Brotherhood out of you. But I guess you’re a soldier through and through, huh?” Nate stage whispered with a smirk as he peered at the note on his pip-boy.

                The stood in the crumbling atrium of the Commonwealth Bank in the heart of the Financial district of the Greater Boston area on the trail of rumored pre-war capsule that the Brotherhood of Steel was scrambling to find.

                “Scary?” Danse deflected like a pro, Nate had to give him that.

                The General of the Minutemen raised a single eyebrow at the former Paladin and smirked. “Have you actually seen his permanent scowl? It’s like the deathclaw he killed didn’t just give him a scar parting gift but its own temperament too.”

                A surprised laugh left the orange-clad man, “He does cut an imposing figure. What does the note say about the location of the capsule?” Danse once again looked at his friend, hoping to get the matter at hand, be out of the ruins and headed back to safety as quickly as possible.

                Scanning the pip-boy again, Nate heaved a sigh, “Looks like it’s buried under the building. They seemed to have utilized the foundation as additional stabilization and blast protection shielding. Now why do you think Deacon forgot to mention that?”

                “So he wouldn’t be roped into being here as revenge,” Danse muttered good naturedly, “who knows why I got dragged here,” climbing back into the Power Armor, he continued to mutter about undercover Railroad agents and their bald heads.

                Frown lines started to mar the face of the sole survivor of Vault 111. “Something wrong, Nate?” His companion asked with a concerned tone.

                “I don’t think there’s any access to the lower levels. Well actually correction, there are no lower levels to access. The capsule s built in-between the foundations. We have to break through the floor to access it.” Nate’s frown deepened. He no longer believed this to just be some useless pre-war paraphernalia. This maybe a lot more important – and much harder to reach – than he had led himself to believe.

                “So Deacon’s informant didn’t tell him anything else about the capsule? Only that people were looking for it?” Danse questioned as he used the increased height from the Power Armor to peer over the shoulder of his friend to take a look at the topographical map generated by pip-boy.

                Nate adjusted his arm to show the map to both himself and Danse, the position was more than a little awkward but he made it work. “See? No access tunnels, no stair cases, hell not even a single ladder down. But the informant clearly said it was connected to the foundation. I was just hoping it was as easy as walking downstairs.” Moving his arm away, he turned to rummage through his duffle bag that held an inordinate amount of guns, ammo and other weaponry and pulled out two sledge hammers. “And that is why we – well at least you – are here in Power Armor. So use your mechanically enhanced powers and lets crack this puppy open.”

                When the last bit of flagstone and concrete had been cleared away, it became apparent that this artifact – time capsule, treasure, what-have-you – may in fact be far more important than Nate initially suspected. The hatch buried underneath everything looked heavy and foreboding. Both made quick work of unlocking the rather hard lock on the hatch. Nate stepped away to let Danse use his mechanically enhanced muscles to pry the lid open. Creaking and groaning, the hinges finally allowed the door to slide open against years of misuse.

                “Going down,” Nate almost burst out into laughter at the perplexed look on his companion’s face. He jumped down into the darkness of the once closed chamber. His mirth was short lived though as he scrambled out of the way of nearly 300 pounds of man and fusion core powered machine landed where he once stood.

                “You could’ve said something before you tried to take my head off with your death trap!” The out-of-time man exclaimed as he dusted himself off.

                The room was almost completely bare despite a light layer of dust covering the empty floor – minus a few stray pieces of concrete here and there from the Power-Armor-clad madman hammering away at the floor. The walls were metallic looked metallic and shone brightly under the pip-boy and Power Armor flashlight. “They must be lead-lined,” Nick stated to Danse as he walked deeper into the open chamber. A single, large box sat in the center of the empty space. Nate already knew that taking the damn thing out the chamber would be a nightmare, especially with the lack of his Power Armor – damn he really wish he had brought it with him.

                Dragging the box out of the room had been a nightmare, getting it out of the Financial District? That was something Nate did not want to look forward to. Carrying the box become Danse’s responsibility as Nate tried to keep all hostile entities off their sitting duck asses. After an hour and two fusion cores later, Nate and Danse arrived at bunker hill to the welcome of everyone else who were simply loitering around the stands. Danse deposited the container in the common room that Nate had erected in the center of the settlement and looked on with anticipation as Nate finally opened the metal box. The contents of which were even more perplexing. Holotapes, medkits and numerous smaller boxes. Something that would terrify even nightmares. It had taken almost close to a week to drag the heavy container to Sanctuary and finally get to the actual meat of it all.

                Taking the top holotape in the pile – Conveniently labeled: Play Me #1 – Nate popped it into his pip-boy and waited for the sound to filter through the speakers.

 _“Heavens above. I sound like a madman with an audio diary. Who the hell even does this? Writes up a hypothetical end of the world and writes instructions on how to care for fucking plants. Not how to survive in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland, not how to not starve to death. No, you’re going to get how to fucking plant some goddamned seeds.”_ An aggravated sigh escaped from the pip-boy’s speakers followed by a soft thud, presumably as the man speaking fell back against a few surface, a chair perhaps? _“Hell for all I know everything will be fine, next year will come and the year after and the year after and so on and so forth and all this money, all this work, all the hours wasted, all the equipment, all the fucking seeds would have been for absolutely nothing, nothing at all. But you know what? I’d rather have mean nothing but the paranoid ravings of a man long past than be the only chance for the survival of all of these plant species.”_ The speakers crackled again, this time with a slight shuffling sound as the man in the past shuffled papers about on his desk. Nate could almost picture a weary eyes soul, wise – or mad – beyond his years and living the end of his world in his mind. _“Seems like I maxed out the capacity of this take. Play the next one please.”_

                Dragging the second holotape out the box, Nate caught a glimpse of the expectant eyes of his companions and few lingering settlers. The tape settled in with a click and the voice started up again.

 _“My name is Mikael Ran, I am a freelance scientist of sorts. Most of my contracts are with the federal government but I also occasionally work with private companies. All of this has allowed me to mass quite a tidy sum of money. Added in the wealth my family has been hording for generations, the investments I have added to the horde and the several trust funds set up for me by my late grandparents, let’s just say I had quite a large piggy bank to dip into to finance all of this. ‘And what exactly is this?’ you may be asking yourself. Well if you are listening to this then there are two possibilities. The world has chosen to unmake itself through a spectacular thermo-nuclear Armageddon or you have stumbled across this old ruin and the ravings of a doomsday-prophet-esque madman in a world that could never imagine such a fate. If the latter is true, then I hope you and well on your way to being a prosperous civilization. I hope you fell no harm come your way and that fortune smiles upon all the world. I pray for your continual success and for a bring future ahead. You can stop listening to me here or continue if you wish for posterity’s sake. If the former is true than the world I have imagined has occurred. I hope you are healthy and well fed. If you are unwell or had to go through severe hardship to gain access to my time capsule, then please help yourself to the first aid kit within. It has radiation dispelling medication along with sterilized bandaged, stimpacks, a few different types of vita-boost tablets and anti-bacterial soaps, creams, solutions and wipes. I will do my best to teach you all that I know and to help you gain access to the nearest seed vault location. I wish nothing but the best for your endeavors. God speed.”_ The voice muffled as if the man was covering his face with his hands. After another crackling sigh, he spoke again. _“The tapes that follow this will have detailed instructions on how to grow the small packed of seeds in the smaller boxes within the capsule. You will also be instructed to build several structures to assist with water purification and create soil mixes. All of this is the only way to gain access to the seed vaults. Whenever you are ready, play the next tape.”_


	2. Keep Digging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate just wants to have a garden again

_“A great mind once said, ‘I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” I would humbly like to disagree. I am not one to besmirch the likes of Einstein, but I think he fail to realize man’s self-destructive potential. Hell, we forged metal and started killing each other the first chance we got. Perhaps you will use my legacy to kill as well. Perhaps you will use the access to clean water and food to carve out a kingdom for yourself. But. It is my hope – for all I can do is hope – that you will listen to me, heed my words and allow me to help you create a world where humanity and thrive. But all I have is hope.”_ The man, Mikael, took a deep, fortifying breath before he continued _, “Now, I will be teaching you how to use a plant species that I specifically modified from its wild counterpart to be much hardier and healthier. A species called Azolla. You can use it as a food source for yourself and any livestock you have. This plant will be playing a vital role in helping you create fertilizer and will be helping you with water and soil decontamination.”_

                Nate ignored the questioning look of the caravan merchant as he asked if there was any way for them to deliver bath tubs to the settlements where Minutemen flag flew. _“Only need three inches of water in a leakproof container, top.”_ Mikael’s words rang somewhere in his mind as he doled out caps for the large order. He had set up additional defenses along the trade lines, so the caravans wouldn’t be sitting duck for any raided who decided to try and piss off the General of the Minutemen that week.

                All he could think of was seeing a splash of green. Something, anything. A green shrub, waving in the grass, a flower raising its head from the surrounding leaves to bask in the sun’s radiant glow. Before it all crashed down around him. Before his world ended in hellfire and destruction. Long before the

                “You know, we don’t know if the seeds are viable. Hell, Blue are we sure this guy wasn’t some raving lunatic that decided to play the biggest pre-war prank the poor souls of the Commonwealth. Wait!” Piper threw up her hands to get everyone’s attention, “What if. What if this is another one Vault Tech’s experiments.”

                “I think miss reporter may be onto something,” Hancock rasped as he leaned against the rickety door frame of a once-ruin house, “who knows, maybe they were doing a test on how hope effects the poor fuckers that make it out of their hellscapes in the ground.”

                “Perhaps you’re right,” Nick drawled as he dropped the smoldering remains of a cigarette from his lips onto the concrete floor and put it out with the hell of his boot. “For all we know, this could be some odd rouse to get us into some kind of experimental facility. False hope and all.”

                Deacon swayed slight as he tipped his chair back to rest against the wall behind him, before shaking his head. “I don’t think so. This guy, he seems almost unhinged enough to believe what he says.”

                Nate could see his own yard through the window over Deacon’s head. He could almost see Nora reclining in her garden chair with Shaun in her arms. The small, raised-bed vegetable patch she insisted on making that Nate inevitably ended up taking care of. He so wanted to pick one of the bell peppers from its vine and bite into while Nora yelled about washing things before eating them. She would try to reach out to him and try to grasp the pepper while he slid just out of reach of her. Codsworth would try and side with Nora but chuckle none-the-less. Nate wished he could show his companions what he had once seen. He would follow Mikael’s words. Madman or not.

                The group sat – or stood – in one of the buildings that once had played a home to Nate’s neighbors. He could almost hear the man yelling good morning to the new parents as Nate and Nora moved their more personal belongings into the adjacent house. Samuel and Jackie had taken in upon themselves to welcome the couple into the new neighborhood. Nate had teased his wife endlessly when she confided in him that it felt like they were being welcomed into the local chapter of a cult. All picket fenced and trimmed hedges. He wondered if Samuel would approve of his living room being made into a communal kitchen and his blasted-out kitchen into a common eating are. Nate had an inkling that the man wouldn’t mind.

                “From what Haylen told me, it seems like the Brotherhood is adamant about getting their hand this technology – which means that they believe it’s real – and if that happens… Well you can be assured that no one else would gain anything from it.” Danse’s voice rumbled in his chest as he leaned onto the table in front of him.

                “I don’ fuckin’ believe it.” Cait stared at Danse as if he had grown a second head and started mooing like a brahmin. “Well then, looks like we’ll make a rebel out of you yet soldier boy.”

                Nate and Danse had gathered around the table – being held with more duct tape and hope than actual structural integrity – as they discussed the newest tape. The remaining parts of their ragtag group has joined a bit at a time which led to the tape being replayed several times. Nate expressed his intent to start the preparations to fulfill the unlocking mechanism Mikael had described.

                “I don’t see why we wouldn’t use our resident robot dick to crack open the locks this guy may have on his door,” MacCready muttered as he stared distrustfully at the tape sitting harmlessly in the center of the table.

                “Its synth detective, resident jackass,” Nick kicked at RJ’s chair, nearly toppling the younger man over. “And I doubt a man as paranoid as this has just a simple terminal locking the door. You said he mentioned pure water and soil?”

                “Yes, the monsieur on the holotape specified pure water and soil. While we could substitute purified water, I’m sure the monsieur has specific parameters set up for the soil samples he wants.” Curie spoke as she tapped her chin, already reanalyzing every word. “Oh, we simply must see the seed vaults. We could learn so much from Monsieur Mikael and non-irradiated – and non-mutated – food will be of a great benefit to the Commonwealth.”

                “We can listen to the last part of the holotape again and then see what we should do next. At least we could see if this man can be trusted.” Preston hedged from his corner. A thoughtful expression marring his features as he tried to think of the next possible course of action.

                “We will follow his initial instructions. I remember hearing about the azolla plant before the war when I was in college. They were planning to use it as a fertilizer in the earth sciences building or something.” Nate offered. He tried to remain impartial, he truly did but this… He couldn’t pass this chance up. No, he simply couldn’t. His eyes scanned his gathered companions before falling to Danse, who nodded his agreement to the plan.

_“When I was younger, I used to see shapes in the trees. Monsters in hiding in the woods out back behind the house. Beings in shadows cast by the sharp light of the moon. Now they no longer hide in the corners of darkness in some silent patch of woods in a small town. Now they don uniforms and drag people out of their homes, throwing them on buses, shipped off to destinations unknown. Oh how quickly we forget history. I learned about German concentrations camps in high school. We spoke with a young lady whose great-grandmother had survived one. She talked about how her great-grandmother spoke about the GIs who liberated her camp and saved them. She ended up marrying one of the GIs and moved to America. I wonder what she would have feel about the country of her savior doing the same to others. I wonder who will save the Americans whisked away in the night. Who will play the hero now?”_


	3. A Breather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few days late but here you are. This chapter isn't all that angst ridden so yea... I was in a good mood, Sue me!
> 
> Enjoy!!

_“It’s late in October. The year is 2068. I wonder what year you are listening to me in? Ten? Twenty? A hundred? Humm…alright. No point in thinking such things. A good friend of mine was telling me that I should drop this whole debacle. And my answer was to remind him to show him his own analysis on exactly how many nuclear armaments the USA has and exactly how many it would take to burn the world down around us. Also, that due to the actions of federal government, neither of us can enjoy a bowl of shui zhu yu. Do you know what that is? Maybe you don’t and by god are you missing out. Hmm…maybe I’ll leave a bunch of ingredients in one of the vaults,”_ Mikael chuckled lightly through the holotape. He seemed to be in better spirits in the third tape then the previous ones. _“I’ve managed to fill the seed vaults last week and turns out there is a lot more room left in almost all of them and I have moved onto stock piling equipment, food – mostly nonperishable food items – and several other items. meds, some clean clothes and a few minor items that I thought would be necessary. I don’t know. Maybe when all this craze is over I will crack one of these things up and laugh at what I thought would be necessary. I gave a thought to putting some weapons in there but… the world has already fucked itself over enough without me helping it along.”_ He laughed lightly, _“None-the-less, you will be learning a bit more about azolla. It’s a hardy plant. Did you know it caused the great ice age? Do you know about the ice ages? Do you know about the history of the space bound rock you live on? Do you know of Athens? Of Greece? Do you know anything about the history of your species? About the greatest cities ever built? Of the people that flourished there and those who brought them down? Maybe you care not to learn them. After all, you might be living in the aftermath of man’s self-destructive nature.”_ And just like that, all happiness and good-natured mirth was gone from the man’s voice. Replaced with a bone deep tiredness that Nate’s own heart resonated with. _“Azolla, it’s a hardy plant. You could honestly throw a bunch of the damn plant into cow shit and water and it will still grow like no one’s business. The smaller boxes contain small pods with the plants put in stasis of sorts. It’ll keep them alive for at least the next seven hundred years or so. Ehh…haven’t bothered to project when it will die. In addition, there are also spores, seed pods with spore, water soluble packets with spores and growth starters and anything I can think of so get off your ass and get to work!”_

                Danse didn’t know if he should be envious of the water pump or pity it. He could, however, take a few seconds to appreciate how far they had gotten in only two weeks’ time. Seven tubs were buried almost to the brim in the soil near the designated farming area. Filled almost hallway with cement, “The plants would be too deep to gather otherwise,” as Nate had stated, and lined with tarps and enough duct tape to patch every hole in the Commonwealth. All there was left was to fill them up with water and start work on the structure that would house everything they would be working with. Thus, here he was wondering if he would be better off as a mobile water pump than an ex-Brotherhood soldier.

                The farmers had grumbled a bit in disapproval over a building taking up their precious farming beds but were quickly quelled by the promise of the said building being a greenhouse. Nate had steadily started to make Sanctuary a perfect settlement, as perfect as anything could be in the post-nuclear wasteland.

                Danse wondered if he should have even bothered with bathing at all as he felt his back slowly stick to his shirt. Though Danse would never say it within earshot of any living soul, he was delighted by the prospect of hot running water. The promise of a scalding hot shower after a long run delivering supplies, pushing back raider camps, clearing out super mutant camps and deathclaw and feral nests was heavenly. Abroad the Prydwen, water was scarce, and officers had to set an example for their fellow Brotherhood members thus Danse had kept his showers to a perfect five minutes. Ensuring his entire body was lathered from head to toe as well as rubbing his hair down with shampoo before plunging himself under freezing cold – or uncomfortably warm, depending on the weather – water to wash it all off. It was a bit jarring for him the first time Nate told him that there was hot water available if he wanted to take a shower shortly after he had been made a knight and hand promptly dragged Danse off to meet his ragtag group of friends. Danse still had trouble taking his time when bathing and even more at the idea of taking an actual bath in the available bath tubs. The near perfect system of water purifiers and generators constantly provided clean water and heated – or cooled – it as necessary to those that wanted to clean themselves.

                Danse broke himself out of his trance and poured the bucket of water, he had been holding in his hand for at least six or seven minutes, into the tub below. Wiping his forehead of the sweat gathered there, he spied the object of his thoughts off in the area he had been working. Nate was kneeling at the base of a wood and metal wall, securing the base to make the wall more load bearing. His back was drenched in sweat. Danse caught glimpse of a sweat drop that formed on the former vault dweller’s forhead and taveled down. Down a single high cheekbone flushed with strain and the blazing sun. His mouth twisted into a focused scowl, the same one he often has while starting a raider down the scope of his rifle. The former paladin followed the sweat drop down. Past the scowling lips, down a shaven chin that was showing signs of a rough stubble forming, over a sinuous neck, into the hollow of Nate's throat and wondered if one could be jealous of an inanimate object.

                Before he could ruminate further on the jealousy experienced against sweat drops, his world turned ice cold, leaving him gasping and sputtering under the sudden appearance of freezing water that drenched him from head to boot-clad toe. Cait stood beside him, holding up an empty bucket whose contents were now soaking through his tank top and jeans.

                “You looked like you needed to cool down, soldier boy,” her taunt ended in a squeal as Danse jumped at her. She beat a hasty retreat from his side, laughing at his angered yells. He turned to chanse after her as she hid behind Nate who was double over in laughter.

                “You… you look like a drowned rat… a drowned molerate,” Nate tried to speak through his peels of laughter. Danse tried to keep a smile off his face as his friend’s mirth chased the last of his indignation.

                The rest of their group soon popped up around them to see what was so funny. Nick and Preston shook their heads in amusement as the hung around the edge of the group. Cait ended up tackling Piper into a nearby tub. Deacon soon joined them, followed by Dogmeat. Hancock, Curie and MacCready just stood farther in the background to avoid both getting wet and being dragged into a tub themselves.

                “Puny humans why play in water?” Strong grumbled slightly in the distance and sent everyone into another burst of laughter.

                _“If there is nothing else I know about mankind, I know that we will survive. We will survive and so will our spirit. I do worry about in what shape will we survive. How mad will we be? How deep our insanity goes but I do know that we will be here when then nuclear fallout ends. When the sky clears, there will be someone to stand back up and see it. In the end, we will prevail. Now, allow me to leave you with this, “Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom.””_


	4. Instant Gratification

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I left all of my written chapters at work. On one hand, I haven't posted in like a week. On the other, I have a good back log of chapters to go through so you will be getting something new every other day for now. ENJOY!

                The voice emanating from the speakers of the pip-boy was a little slurred and more than a little tired. _“World’s gone crazy.”_ Mikael’s speech slowed and sticking on every few words. _“They dragged the She family away in the middle of the night. Just gone, poof, dust in the wind,_ ” the man’s exhaled as he adjusted the weight bearing down on his shoulders.

                _“They’re not communists. God, the fucking butt of the damned soldier’s pistol hurt like a bitch. I’ve known the She my entire adult life! Maya works for RobCo for God’s sake. If anything else should prove loyalty to the government it’s active participation in the military industrial complex. I should go get my head checked to see if I have a concussion but what would I tell the receptionist? I got pistol whipped for trying to save the lives of two of the nicest people I’ve ever known? Yeah, I’d probably end up getting my ass handed to me again.”_ A sigh followed by crinkling of an ice bag erupted, _“World’s gone crazy I tell you.”_

                Good cheer and hopeful excitement neve lasted long in the wasteland. Nate had finished the greenhouse, ensuring every single glass plane was whole and solid. Even the skylights. But despite his best efforts, the azolla had barely sprouted more than one or two new plants. The area with the tubs was slight shaded by nearby mutfruit and maize. Everyone, at one point or another, had kept vigil by the tubs of water, fertilizer and small floating plants.

                Nate wanted to hate the voice speaking to them from the pip-boy. He wanted to loathe the tired man for giving him false hope. He had grown accustomed to the dull yellows and muted browns of the wasteland. Hollowed eyes of the buildings that stared down at him from every building he had once known to be full of life and laughter, he could ignore them now. He had carved himself and his followers a space in this new hellscape. Mutfruit no longer burned his tongue on its way down and he no longer tried to find the taste of a fruit he knew in it. Razorgrain and tato no longer felt alien.  Who was this man to barge into his reconstructed life and run roughshod over it? Who was he to drag memories out of their corners and set them alight again? His chest burned with every breath and his emotions threatened to pour over. Nora’s ring scorched against his heaving chest, nestled against his older dog tags and the Brotherhood holo tags.

                “Oh Blue,” Piper’s soft voice was almost, almost too much to bare. He didn’t turn to face her, knowing that everything would come crashing down. He couldn’t bare to see the pity she held for him in her eyes. A man, out-of-time and out-of-place, breaking down in a greenhouse. Her arms came up and wrapped around his midsection, making him wonder if she could feel the contained sobs and heavy sighs that were bubbling in his chest.

                “It’ll be alright,” her voice sounded a million miles away, muffled like his head was underwater. Before him the small plants floated in their watery homes, bubbling and laughing at his misery. As though they knew a secret he wasn’t privy to and none would tell.

                Nate had gone through the previous holotapes numerous times to see what he may have done wrong. It only ended in feeling defeated and lost. He wanted to speak to Mikael, to plead his case, to show him the home that he and his companions had made from the remnants of the world that once was, to show him that humanity had prevailed in some way and lastly to ask him to free him from this torment. The solution was simple. Play the next tape and see if the answer lay there-in. Yet, he hesitated. What if there were no answers? What if everything was as it should be, and the plants simply did not grow because man had destroyed his one and only home? What if there were no answers for him? Any chance of restoring the wasteland locked away behind a crazed man’s door.

                “Blue, I think we should get you to bed.” She was standing in front of him. When had she moved? Piper’s hand felt heavenly against his cheek – chilled by the Commonwealth night – as she led him away from the greenhouse. It was tucked away in the corner of the cul-de-sac – between two former houses. She led him to the house Nora has gushed over when they first bought it. If only she could see it now – riddled with more holes than the swiss cheese she adored so much, and patch worked with metal he stripped from everything and anything.

                Azolla floated behind him in their watery homes. Their laughter dancing a jig inside Nate’s brain. He thought he heard Nora’s laughter amongst them. His stomach churned, and Nora’s ring burned against he chest. He barely reacted as he felt Nick and Piper ease him into one of the makeshift beds in his former home. He had tried to make It a place where each of his friend and companions could find comfort but now he felt more alone here than the day he had awoken from his bicentenary slumber. Here he was, his world crashing down around him as he tried to heed the words of a man he may have never known in a previous lifetime. Someone he would have thought poorly of and more than a little mad. His eyelids drooped as he fell into a fitful sleep.

                The morning after had been a cacophony of sound and noise. His head felt heavier every time he turned in any direction. Nate was resolute to avoid any questions – voiced or not – sent his way. Pity was much harder to sense behind a power armor helmet and much quieter coming from Dogmeat than any of his other companions. He made an excuse that sounded hollow even to his own ears, something about clearing out a group of Gunners near the Slog. Dogmeat was more than happy to accompany him and was none the wiser when several others tried to interject with their opinions. He especially tried not to read into the hurt look Danse had on his features as he waved a hasty goodbye, followed by a hastier retreat.

Once Sanctuary was well behind him, Nate took a deep sigh and exited his power armor. A small smile wormed its way over his lips as he watched Dogmeat turn in a circle around him and give a small bark of joy.

                “Nora would’ve loved you.” He murmured to the dog as he knelt against a torn down wall, letting Dogmeat crawl into his lap and snuggle against him. It had become one of his favorite ways to spend time away from the bustle of Sanctuary. Make some sort of an excuse to get away from the questioning eyes of his friends and spend some quality down time in one ruin or another with Dogmeat curled in his lap. Sometimes he spent the time going through a textbook, so he could pickup valuable tidbits to further develop his – the Minutemen’s – settlements. Other times he just sat and read a book out loud to Dogmeat and pretend the dog understood him.

                Now, he just needed a silent companion more than anything else.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy and read and review.


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